8 Men’s Christmas Jumpers So Bad They’re Good

Tasteful

The ironic sweater is a fast growing festive trend that we can all get behind, given enough time. What started as a bit of forced fun in the workplace around the Christmas party season, has bloomed into a decidedly modern tradition. In a post-Ice Bucket Challenge Britain, no-one wants to be the bad sport that forfeits looking like a berk for a couple of days out of the year, sulking under a paper crown. It’s only a jumper after all. To be branded a Scrooge, a Grinch, on the other hand, is death.

Whether you’re out for a bout of social media oneupmanship or your colleagues are cyber bullying you into submission over the company’s internal instant messenger, we’ve got 8 Christmas jumpers for you ranging from tasteful, to tasteless, to attention-seeker. How far will you go to raise eyebrows?

New Look
Green patchwork Jumper // £13.00 19.00

The Cosby Christmas Sweater
I was going to go on about how Bill Cosby would dig this sweater, but he’s in hot water at the moment, isn’t he? Little bit awkward. Oh well, I suppose those connotations make you doubly inappropriate at the dining table. Which is a win?

Threadbare
Men’s Hanging Knitted Jumper Cobalt // £14.99 £22.95

Hanging?

As rubbish puns go I thought this one was pretty good. If the reek of Disarronno seeping from your pores after that Christmas Eve pub session isn’t enough to tell Grandma to leave off with the questions until after the cheeseboard, maybe pointing wordlessly at your jumper will?

Firebox
Reindeer Threesome Christmas Jumper// £49.99

Christmas is a time for sharing

Everybody’s favourite gadget shop, Firebox, have come through with a real belter. “Christmas is a time for sharing” is the tagline they’re going for on this and honestly, I can’t top that. Numbers are limited so you’re going to be the only smartarse with it on, that’s got to be worth £50.00.

New Look
Grey Elf and Safety Christmas Jumper // £13.00 £19.99

Elf n' Safety

Another bit of wordplay that’s not actually terrible. Will get a chuckle from your mates but oh boy, is it a powerful Dad joke. Careful he doesn’t choke on his pigs-in-blankets.

M&S
Christmas Crew Neck Jumper // £29.50

Reindeer Santa Hybrid?

Not 100% on what’s going on on this sweater. It looks like Rudolph has led his reindeers pals to a revolt and overthrown Father Christmas? Either way, he’s wearing his clothes and that can’t be good for old St. Nick…wherever he is.

Boohoo.com
Merry Xmas Ya Filthy Animal // £18.00

Ya Filthy Animal

I should be mad that boohoo.com are exploiting a quote from my favourite ever Christmas movie for a quick sale, but I’m not. This could have been a lot worse. This one’s my pick of the bunch, for what it’s worth.

Goodsouls
Men’s Stag Christmas Jumper // £35.00

Xmas Fairisle

Believe it or not, this is the ‘tasteful’ entry on our list. No, but really it’s your typical Fairisle pattern so nothing too offensive here. Although I think the folks at Very.co.uk are confused, they’ve called it the ‘stag’ jumper. Now I’m no wildlife buff, but I’m pretty sure those are reindeer…or moose? At least it’s seasonally versatile.

Burton
Navy Christmas Pudding Jumper // £19.00 £25.00

Pud Pud

This one I like. It’s kind of low-key cheesy. It’s got the 3D element with the generic fruit and it’s a lovely shade of navy. A safe bet if you’re too insecure for the rutting stags on your chest.